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Just started watching SKINS, and like it very much!

"Skins is a new program aimed at young adults which is at the forefront of Channel 4's quest to bring more British programming to Britain.
Fast-paced and full of angst-ridden fun, this British drama is based on a group of Bristolian teenagers and their personal struggle with highly-charged issues of race, religion, sexuality, drugs and food disorders."

After seeing 3 episodes I can definitely recomment it.


music of the moment:

John Frusciante
25.8.07 10:05


OK, just got the call. I can go to Erlabrunn next Monday!

Monday already! Weird. I did desire nothing more than to finally do something. Anything. But now that itīs official, Iīm scared again ... I wanna crawl into my bed and hide there and not go out, I donīt want another strange environment and strange people and feeling even more lonely and insecure and .. argh! The fight me vs. irrational fear is starting over again.

I hope Iīll calm down and settle things over the weekend, and can start the therapy with some optimism on Monday.
23.8.07 14:58

having fun with painter <3

See, my painting skills ainīt dead! I donīt paint much, but I still do. And itīs getting easier again. Like the emo up and downs. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. That I do have a new version of painter that fits Win XP does help alot, too. Lovely program.

This one was really easygoing. Dear John Frusciante helped me alot with it. Iīm pretty much addicted to his music atm. Itīs been some time since I could dive into + get lost in music so easily. Can listen to it all day and donīt get tired. <3

Who sees a connection to Gabīs calender pic is right, btw, I wonīt deny it. Still have the calender on my wall, itīs too good to get rid of it after just one year, really.

In this I did color my friend Chrisīs outlines (although thereīs not much left of them, I did paint over them a lot ... always hated being exact and stuff ^^). Was stressy at the beginning because I put myself under too much pressure, again. >.< ... to make things perfect, very exact and stuff, you know the prob. Wanting those things I so am not, and trying this always leads to nothing but frustration. So, in the end I decided to kick the habit and do what I do best: My messy style. ^^

I donīt have much of a connection to this one, maybe because itīs not really *mine*, not a usually emo pic (I like that term XD). But I think the result is ok, even more when you think this was my 1st try with the new prog. And Chris likes it, thatīs what matters most.

An experiment. Never thought abstract stuff was something for me. Lifeīs full of surprises. I realized itīs good to carry emotions, after all. OK, thereīre not so many in this pic ... I was trying more on techniques there and was in a rather stable mood. But I think thereīs a nice balance there that I like, cos it was good for me and my often instable mind at that moment. Still is.

So much for now.

PS: Some Frusciante songs that really stick to me atm:
Control, Going Inside, A Firm Kick, Wednesdayīs Song, The Past Recedes, Song to sind when Iīm lonely, Scratches, Leap Your Bar, and maaaany more ^^
23.8.07 08:31



It's not the way I go
It's not the way I go
Noone here hears me
I'm sick of people knowing me
Life's confusing me
There's so much I don't see
something's controlling me
It's no way to live
I haven't got a thing to give
And those signs trade off
I'm a line from loud to soft
For what I have to say
I wanted to build a stage
I wanted to feel this way
All this things are real
I don't know my own field
You will prove me wrong
I don't know one
I see now what I've got
It reveals just what is is not
Someday I'll take it away
There's nothing for me anyway
Love don't choose me
wide don't see a thing
What I'm saying is now
I don't know what it's about
I wander through the dawn
so much goes on
Who will make me run
I admit I might be wrong
These letters shelter me now
I wonder how

Artist: John Frusciante

This blog stayed empty for a long time. Had no interest to share anything with anyone. Might change. Might not. ATM Iīm tempted to work on the site a bit. So, some things might actually happen in here. Watch out. ^^
22.8.07 11:29

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